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Conduct - Manners


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Lesson 57
With Scholars, Self and Parents

Watch / Listen: Video Browse: PowerPoint Download / Print: Word  

Main Points

Manners concerning knowledge

·  Learning is an individual obligation on every Muslim, male or female.

·  Obligatory learning includes the basics of faith, acts of worship, Islamic teachings, and way of life.

·  All useful knowledge is a communal obligation on the whole Muslim society, with every group specializing in a subject.

·  Every Muslim should learn the perfection of his job in order not to depend on others and save the whole nation from dependency.[6]

·  To venerate sincere scholars is a part of the Islamic manners.[7]

Proper manners towards one's self

·  Have a sincere intention for every individual act.[8]

·  Question oneself for every idea, saying, or act.[9]

·  Hasten to repentance for any sin or shortcoming.[10]

Proper manners towards one's parents

·  Obey and respect them, especially in old age.

·  Honor and show the fairest companionship to them even if they are unbelievers.

·  Execute their will and respect their friends.

·  Being obedient to parents is better than Jihad and Hijrah (emigration).

·  Hurting and being ungrateful to parents lead to Hell.

·  Honoring one’s mother takes precedence over honoring one’s father.[11]


Evidence from Qur'an and Sunnah


Allah says:

]اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ. خَلَقَ الإْنسَانَ مِنْ عَلَقٍ. اقْرَأْ وَرَبُّكَ الأكْرَمُ. الَّذِي عَلَّمَ بِالْقَلَمِ. عَلَّمَ الإنسَانَ مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ[
(العلق: 1 - 5)

This means: “Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), Has created man from a clot (a clinging mass, a piece of thick coagulated blood). Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch)]. Has taught man that which he knew not.” (96, Al-`Alaq: 1 - 5)

Allah says:

]وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَا مِن قَبْلِكَ إِلاَّ رِجَالاً نُّوحِي إِلَيْهِمْ فَاسْأَلُواْ أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِن كُنتُمْ
لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ
(النحل: 43)

This means: “And We sent not (as Our Messengers) before you (O Muhammad SAW) any but men, whom We inspired, (to preach and invite mankind to believe in the Oneness of Allah). So ask of those who know the Scripture [learned men of the Tawrah (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)], if you know not.” (16, An-Nahl: 43)

Allah says:

]فَلَوْلاَ نَفَرَ مِن كُلِّ فِرْقَةٍ مِّنْهُمْ طَآئِفَةٌ لِّيَتَفَقَّهُواْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلِيُنذِرُواْ قَوْمَهُمْ إِذَا رَجَعُواْ إِلَيْهِمْ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَحْذَرُون[
(التوبة: 122)

This means: “Of every troop of them, a party only should go forth, that they (who are left behind) may get instructions in (Islamic) religion, and that they may warn their people when they return to them, so that they may beware (of evil).” (9, At-Tawbah: 122)

Allah says:

]وَقُل رَّبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا[
(طه: 114)

This means: “And say: My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.”
(20, Taha: 114)

The Prophet (SAWS) said, "Seeking knowledge is an obligation on every Muslim." [Al-Bayhaqiyy and Ibn `Abdul-Barr]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“If someone treads a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy for him the path leading to Paradise.” (Reported by Muslim)

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

“If one goes forth in search of knowledge, his endeavors will be regarded like setting out to fight in the cause of Allah until he returns home.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

“The world is accursed and what it contains is accursed too, except remembrance of Allah and what He loves, a learned man, or a learner.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

“When Allah wishes good for anyone, He instructs him in the understanding of religion.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The grace of scholars:

Allah says:

]يَرْفَعِ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مِنكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْعِلْمَ دَرَجَاتٍ[
(المجادلة: 11)

This means: “Allah will exalt in degree those of you who believe, and those who have been granted knowledge.” (58, Al-Mujadalah: 11)

Allah says:

]إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاء[
(فاطر: 28)

This means: “It is only those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allah.” (35, Fatir: 28)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“The superiority of the learned man over the devout is like that of the moon, on the night when it is full, over the rest of the stars.”
(Reported by Abu Dawud)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“The inhabitants of the heavens and the earth, and the fish in the deep waters will ask forgiveness for the learned man.” (Reported by Ibn Majah)

Proper manners towards one’s self:

True intention:

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Verily (the value of) deeds depends on the intentions behind them. For every person (there is in store for him) what he intended. The one whose migration is for the sake of Allah and His Messenger, his migration is in fact for Allah and His Messenger; and the one whose migration is for the worldly (ends), he will attain that; and the one who migrates for the sake of a woman to marry her, his migration is for the aim he has in his mind.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (SAWS) said, "Whoever makes the Hereafter his preoccupation, then Allah places freedom from want in his heart, and arranges his matters and life comes to him (easily) despite being reluctant to do so. And whoever makes life his preoccupation, then Allah places his poverty before his eyes and disorganizes his matters and nothing of the life comes to him except that which has been decreed for him." [At-Tirmidhi].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said:

“Who seeks martyrdom with sincerity shall get its reward, though he may not achieve it.” (Reported by Muslim)

Reckoning one’s self:

Allah says:

]قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَا. وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَا[
(الشمس: 9 - 10)

This means: “Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself (i.e. obeys and performs all that Allah ordered, by following the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism and by doing righteous good deeds). And indeed he fails who corrupts his ownself (i.e. disobeys what Allah has ordered by rejecting the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism or by following polytheism, etc. or by doing every kind of evil wicked deeds).” (91, Ash-Shams: 9 - 10)

Allah says:

]يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَلْتَنظُرْ نَفْسٌ مَّا قَدَّمَتْ لِغَدٍ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُون[ (الحشر: 18)

This means: “O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do.” (59, Al-Hashr: 18)

Allah says:

]وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ وَنَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوَى. فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ هِيَ الْمَأْوَى[ (النازعات: 40 - 41)

This means: “But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode.” (79, An-Nazi`at: 40 - 41)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“A wise man is that who calls himself to account (and refrains from doing evil deeds) and does noble deeds to be of benefit to him after death.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Every person begins the morning ready to strike a bargain with his soul; he either ransoms it or puts it into perdition.”
(Reported by Muslim)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“… It is to worship Allah as if you were seeing him, and even if you do not see him, he certainly sees you.”
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


Allah says:

]يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا تُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ تَوْبَةً نَّصُوحًا عَسَى رَبُّكُمْ أَن يُكَفِّرَ عَنكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ وَيُدْخِلَكُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الأَنْهَار[
(التحريم: 8)

This means: “O you who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will remit from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise).” (66, At-Tahrim: 8)

Allah says:

]وَتُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ[
(النور: 31)

This means: “And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.” (24, An-Nur: 31)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“O people! Repent to Allah and beg pardon of Him. I turn penitently towards Him a hundred times a day.”
(Reported by Muslim)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Allah, the Exalted, stretches out His Hand at night so that one who committed evil during the daytime may repent and stretches out His Hand in the daytime so that one who committed evil during the night may repent. (This continues) until the sun rises in the west.” (Reported by Muslim)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“That who repents before the sun rises in the west, Allah will forgive him.” (Reported by Muslim)

Proper manners towards the parents:

Allah says:

]وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا. وَاخْفِض لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا[ (الإسراء: 23 - 24)

This means: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.''  (17, Al-Isra’: 23 - 24)

Allah says:

]وَوَصَّيْنَا الإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْك إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ[
(لقمان: 14)

This means: “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship - upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (31, Luqman: 14)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Shame on him! Shame on him! Shame on him! The one whose parents or one of them was alive and reached old age, and did not enter paradise (i.e. their presence was not a cause to make him enter Paradise).” (Reported by Muslim)

Asma’ Bint Abi Bakr As-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated:

My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist. I asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him): My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. She wanted something from me. Shall I show her affection? He replied: Yes, be benevolent towards your mother.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“The finest act of goodness is that a man (i.e. a person) treats kindly the beloved (people) of his father after his death.”
(Reported by Muslim)

A man of Banu Salamah came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and asked:

“O Messenger of Allah! Is there any obedience to parents that I can show to them after their death? He (the Prophet) replied: Yes. To pray for them, to fulfil their instructions after their death, to keep affinity with those who are not connected with you but through them, and to show reverence to their friends.”
(Reported by Abu Dawud)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“Should not I inform you about the most grievous of the grave sins? (The Prophet) repeated it three times, and then said: Associating anyone with Allah and disobedience to parents …”
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person came to Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) and said:

“Who among the people is the most deserving of fine treatment from me? He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon, he said: Then, it is your father.”
(Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)